Do you make New Year resolutions? I do, and I generally stick to a good number of them, though never completely or consistently. Being an irritatingly hopeful person on most days during the year, this Sunday is my chance to shift my natural inclinations into overdrive. I’m going to drink less alcohol, eat more fruit and vegetables, be a better husband and dad, finish the play I’ve been writing for the past decade, do great work for clients and, well, generally strive to do everything next year I’ve been striving to do this year, only with enhanced strivation.
Maybe I’m missing something by being so self-centered? Maybe all of us should look beyond the comfortable confines of our bathroom mirrors and contemplate what we hope everyone else will resolve to do in 2012? Perhaps if we all think somewhat similar things, the collective force of our hopes for one another will actually prompt action (a sort of force in numbers kind of thing, a la morphic resonance).
Or it’ll just feel good to do.
So what would you propose the rest of humanity use as resolutions for 2012? Here are my three thought-starters:
- Be nicer. Perhaps this is my advancing decrepitude talking but don’t people seem more rude, hurried, or downright unpleasant than they used to be? I’m talking about all the small interactions that shouldn’t mean anything -- folks in line at Starbuck’s, driving on the freeway, sitting behind you at a movie theatre -- that now seem to be a drag, as if they’re meant to be constant reminders that we’ve surpassed the limitations of courtesy and the artificialities of good manners. We’re all the worse for it. I wish that everyone would resolve to show the slightest regard for strangers, not just reserving it for their immediate family and friends. Chew gum with their mouths closed. Close their cell phones when walking down grocery store aisles. Hold doors open for one another. Add up a zillion of such little gestures and you get a big improvement in the quality of our lives.
- Tuck in your shirts. I know it’s fashionable to dress like a human Weeble these days, but long, oversized, untucked shirts allow millions of Americans to overlook the fact that not being able to see their toes is a bad thing. Ditto for the many midriffs that should never be allowed to see the light of day. So one of my resolutions would be for everyone to tuck in their shirts. It would force some to realize just how overweight they are, and maybe inspire them to do something about it (which would remedy our collective financial responsibility for helping fund their individual lifestyle choices of fatness). I’d add my hope that those doofy pants that aren’t shorts or long pants (but something uncomfortably between the two lengths) would go away altogether, but the shirt thing would yield more immediate and visually apparent benefits.
- Say we more than me. The social media technology revolution has empowered all of us to declare our tastes, interests, and opinions on anything and everything. The ether is filled with what each of us wants to fill it with, creating an infinite number of shared spaces in which we express our individuality. But there’s a reason why Time magazine declared 2011 the year of protest...it’s easier to hold up our opinions or anger for concurrent comparison than it is to engage one another on issues on which we disagree, or which require collaborative action other than a complaint or mutual clicking of a “like” button. The rare times we learn of shared, proactive opinions is when mainstream journalists or politicians reference a generic “Americans” or “people” in order to make their own excruciatingly individual, personal points. We need less imaginary community and more real ones, so I say everyone resolve to stop griping and start cooperating.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. New Year’s resolutions have a far higher likelihood of coming true if they’re simple goals, not some stretch goals that have eluded our grasp in years prior. I think the three I’ve proposed for the entire human race are quite sensible.
Come to think of it, I'm going to add them to my own list. So if you run into an old guy smiling as he holds the door open for you (while he's wearing his shirt tucked in), it might be me.
Happy New Year!
(Image credit: resolutions, resolutions)




